Psychology
for Couples Trying to Conceive
By Stacey Woods
When trying to improving any aspect of your health, cutting down
on stress is virtually always helpful. In men, emotional stress
is thought to reduce sperm count by interfering with normal hormone
production. When there is a longing desire on the part of a couple
to have a child, it adds to the overall stress level for both partners.
Anti-stress activities are always a good idea. Such activities include
regular gentle exercise, deep breathing and progressive relaxation,
and getting enough sleep.
Women who are struggling
with infertility have been found to struggle with depression as
much as women with life threatening diseases like cancer! For both
partners, the inability to produce a baby has a tendency to erode
the self-esteem. Much of our self image hinges on our femininity
or our masculinity. We feel less as a woman, especially when we
are around our friends who seem to be able to get pregnant "every
time their husband lays his pants on the bed" as the old saying
goes. The same loss of self-worth happens to our husbands, and we
know how delicate men's egos can be! (Women's egos, too?)
Infertility can strain
the relationship, too. If one partner blames the other, a wall can
begin to grow between the two of you. Between the growing disappointment
and the necessity to perform on demand when the ovulation indicators
say to, the stress on the marriage can be serious. The best way
to remedy this is to affirm to your spouse that you will face the
problem together, being glad you have them even with the disappointment
of infertility.
Having the support of
a group of other couples dealing with the same problems can be a
big help to your emotional outlook. That support group can even
be online.
The sexual relationship
can be stressed by infertility, since performance is related to
success. However, if you stop to think about it, there are only
a few days you can become pregnant. If you focus on the relationship
the rest of the time, you can rekindle those warm fuzzies and enjoy
sex more, which is good for the emotional side of the relationship.
Sometimes taking a break from the temperature charting and scheduled
rendezvous can make a big difference, even resulting in the pregnancy
that has been so elusive.
Baby showers can be difficult,
as can social gathering where many of your friends' and family members'
children will be in attendance. It is permissible to skip the showers.
Simply send a gift ahead or with someone else. Grab something quick
or order something online, but don't take a long time shopping through
baby clothes. Board books or some baby toiletries can be picked
up without a long stay in the baby department.
In any difficult time
of waiting and disappointment, it's a good idea to stay busy. Use
the free time you have to enjoy hobbies or learn new skills. Enjoy
humor with your single friends and your spouse.
One distressing
but normal part of trying hard to get pregnant is that you can psychologically
imagine that you have the symptoms of pregnancy, such as nausea
and frequent urination. It is very easy to get your hopes up every
month. If a home pregnancy test comes out negative, however, it's
probably accurate. They tend to be very reliable. There's even a
condition called pseudocyesis in which women experience even more
symptoms, such as feeling movements and even the abdomen increasing
in size. This condition is sometimes called a false pregnancy, and
is most common in married women who have experienced pregnancy before.
Premenstrual symptoms can mimic pregnancy symptoms with nausea and
breast enlargement being quite common sensations. It is disappointing,
however, when your period starts a day or two later. Try not to
let a little nausea make you get your hopes up.
In some cases a woman
has all the symptoms of pregnancy, and even have a positive result
on a pregnancy test. Yet a miscarriage happens a month or two later,
and no fetus is found in the material discharged. This condition
is called a "blighted ovum" and probably indicates a baby
was conceived but had genetic abnormalities which prevented it from
developing normally.
As with any endeavor
in life, positive thinking can make a big difference. If you can
keep from giving up hope, it will help. It also helps to place the
outcome of your quest for a baby into the hands of a higher power.
Prayer has helped many seemingly infertile couples go on to produce
a houseful of happy, healthy children. Striving to be at peace with
the outcome is imperative, however, because ultimately, a child
is a gift from God, and it doesn't help matters to struggle emotionally
with the things we can't understand.
-------------------
My name is Stacey and
I am 39. I always heard about women having trouble conceiving a
baby at this age, but it never really struck me directly until recently.
I managed to find a natural way to conceive at my age, so I decided
to expose the secret.
To find out more, please
visit http://www.conceiveeasy.com
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